born with a caribbean background, liming1 is in we blood. i’m talking about kicking it, hanging out & having a kiki.2 there’s an undeniably inedible it factor to get-togethers within the black culture. especially during dire times when woes are high & communing becomes a beguiling necessity.
from dinner parties to family vacations, game nights, or just vibing; there exist endless ways to gather in celebration of our complicated cycles of life & i’d like to share a methodology that turns these affairs into unforgettably key moments.
over the years an alchemical art began to emerge amid my event planning experiences & soon i began distilling details into a framework i call have a key: a tidy tapestry of threads to pluck & plume the potential of any person’s party.
i originally planned to write on this topic via an ebook but ima substack simp so i’ll be publishing this digital love letter in the name of coming together.
Before we drop it like it’s hot, let me take you on a mini world tour; a journey that started way back, long before have a key was even a twinkle in my widdle eye. See, I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to crown myself Queen of the vibes.
Nah, this whole hostess thing is in my blood.
My grandmother, bless her soul, was an OG princess of parties. Back in her day, she wasn’t just throwing get-togethers… she was curating experiences that were the talk of her small town.
She was the type of woman who could tell you the traditional gift for any anniversary off the top of her head & whip up a dinner party that would have folks vying to attend each year [ & not just because the food was bomb].
Her parties had something more, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but you knew it was there—an energy, a vibe, a certain je ne sais quoi.
My father followed in her footsteps, establishing a nonprofit foundation and running an annual community reunion for his hometown. Years of celebrations people still reminisce about to this day.
Growing up around his planning committee, I soon realized gathering people together entailed way more than just setting a date and sending out invites.
It’s a craft, a ritual even.
And that’s what inspired me help others indulge in a good time.
Years of being immersed in the trenches of event planning, from tiny get-togethers to full-blown celebrations, gave me the raw material.
It wasn’t until 2020 that I started to compile what I learned into something more structured, something I could teach, something that would transform a good time into good times.
That’s when I developed the have a key framework using eight key engagements, which, combined just right, create an indisputable alchemy, manifesting memory unlocking magic.
The room feels different, the energy shifts, and everyone there knows they’re part of something special.
Alchemy in Action
When you have a key, the event becomes more than just a party or a gathering—it becomes a memorable experience, a moment in time that everyone attending will remember long after the last guest has left.
I’ve spent the last few years refining this framework, testing it out on all sorts of occasions—from intimate dinners with close friends to larger-than-life celebrations.
And… basically, it’s tea (i.e. it works).
Every. Single. Time.
It doesn’t matter if you’re throwing a bash for fifty people or just having a cozy night in with your family.
Whether you’re planning a major event or just looking to make your next dinner party a little spicier, think of these eight engagements as the ingredients to a secret sauce.
And trust me, once you start incorporating them into your life, you’ll never look at kicking it, the same way again.
Until i yap again,
👀 Commitment issues? NBD, leave a tip here!
hanging around, usually in a public place with friends, enjoying the scene.
A kiki is a social gathering, usually for casually “kicking back,” gossiping, and sharing stories. It is historically connected to LGBTQ communities.